I keep coming back to this Ansel Adams quote over and over. Man, oh man, is this ringing true for me this year, but for a totally different reason than years past.
Last fall, I enrolled in a course to help improve social media content. It began by knocking me to my knees and ended without picking me up for the finish line. I have no doubt this was not the intent, nor did the person probably know the profound effect it had on me. Suffice to say, we began with a public comment that managed to go for my Achilles heel… something I have struggled with for a very long time now, but at the same time, offered no direction or guidance - just a gaping wound.
Since then, I am struggling. I feel like a part of me has shut down, but I have continued to show up anyway. I have been setting self-study goals, cleaning-up a backlog of images, organizing, setting-up systems, … but NOT picking up my camera. I am trying to find joy in writing blog posts and newsletters that go unread… I am feeling a little lost - aimless, and I’m trying to find my way back to the camera… to painting… to writing… ? I feel like I am a boat without a rudder… eventually I’ll make my way back to the dock for repairs, but for now, I give myself permission to be content with silence. In that silence, I am contemplating if my goals are just busy work. Am I progressing, learning, growing, …? Perhaps, these periods of silence are what make us even stronger, more focused, more intentional,… when we try again.